small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
