too bad you live with your parents still
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize