I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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