Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
