Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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