ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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