babies were throwing up all over the place
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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