Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
