so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
