He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
