Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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