Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Mom said you looked used
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
