Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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