it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
