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So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
