idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
someone threw a dead crab at me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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