you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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