i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
