Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
