I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize