I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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