Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I skipped work to stalk him.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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