His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
