It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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