She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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