Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
