I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Boobs are out for the taking
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
