My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
