hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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