Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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