Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He kissed a someone with a penis
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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