Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
