Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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