I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Panties = found
Randomize
