JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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