you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
