First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
