I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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