Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
