She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
