Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
