it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
