And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
