this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
