dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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