Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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