Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
