pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
