Buhtt sex?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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