she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
